The NBA, Where Desperation Happens

October 22, 2009

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The NBA, Where Desperation Happens

So, things aren't looking good for the NBA right now.  There are a lot of reasons, the economy, it struggles compared to the other sports anyway, superstar bailout calls, the "thug" image, and mainly the fact the refs don't really know how to call the game.  I have a hard time watching somebody get 4 steps through the lane and a 4 second later continuation call; sorry, but that's not basketball.  Toss in the fact that these refs that don't apparently enforce the rules are going to go on strike and they also gamble on basketball.. things aren't looking good.  Teams are desperate to pack the stands.

Don't worry fans!  The Nets have an amazing, really incredible, inspiration, and entirely chaotic way to get fans in teh stands.  Only good things can happen here, and that's a promise.  If you fork out 25g's for 10 games of the team's best seats you can put in a list of players that you want to come hang out with you for an hour.  You can have them at home, a birthday party, the office, or anywhere else you'd like to go.  No word on bachelor parties, hanging out at their house, or even the all the guys love so much down in the ATL.  knows what I'm talking about.  So, lets say you have the cash and the desire to do this.. you really need to consider your options.  I'll help you take a look at the Nets top guys:

1.  Yi.  How could he not be #1?  The possibilities are endless!  Does a translator come with or do you just have to akwardly try to teach him English in that hour?  Where would you go with the guy.. the zoo?  Your crib?  What if you want to drive somewhere, does that mean you get to ride in his car since he can't fit in yours?  Does you have a lazyboy at home?  If so, you might be able to tape him going one on one against it.  My money says put it on Yi; it wouldn't be the first time he's knocked a chair to the ground in victory.  I'd love to see it.

2.  Eduardo Najera.  .  How could you not want to hang out with this guy?  What are some things I would do with him?  Clearly take him anywhere in public; I'd start the museum and show him his closest relation.. the caveman.  We would talk about how hard it was moving on through the Ice Age without the rest of his family and the things he's had to go through to get to where he is now.  Then, I would teach him how to use a fork and maybe even a spoon in a public restaurant.  Since, I'd only have an hour my time would probably be up, but I feel with the things I showed him on that day and the bond we built he'd want to come back to my place and watch Encino Man with me and point out all the bad things Paully Shore made that guy do.  We'd totally be BFF's after that.

Really, after that nothing excites me.  I don't want to hang out with Skip to My Lou because he'll go And 1 on me in the office and embarass me juking out the recycling bin.. my boss would hate that.  Robin Lopez looks as fun as a part in the Saw movies, Devin Harris left my school early.. that still hurts me.  Sean Williams, he's a possibility.. I've never spent a night in jail, he could take me to the promised land.  

So there it is folks, if you have 25g's to toss around on Nets tickets and you get a player from their roster.. I've really narrowed down the choices for you.  Yi, Najera, and the rest are just amateurs.  


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